So Sue Me
by Aaron Smiley
Summary: I found a Youtube video recently for a TMNT dating game. You pick a number between 1 and 10 and then finish the video to find out who your "date" pairing is. A dangerous idea to taunt my mind with. Now unfortunately my musings will be explored.
1. The Idea

"I said I was _sorry_."

"That's no excuse. It's been nearly _5 years_. You can't just come waltzing back to us, Aaron, and- and expect us to put up with this!"

"Hey. Don't blame me. Blame the cracked out inspiration behind _Turtles Forever_. It was like watching bad fanfiction. And then you can blame YouTube for making me daydream comparative and contrastingly about how y'all would be on dates."

Leo frowned, giving Aaron a hard look, eyes narrowing under his bandana, "_'Comparative and contrastingly' _cannot be used together as one adverb."

"If it's any consolation," Aaron shrugged, ignoring his correction "I'll be stuck on a date with Shredhead, too."

Leo placed his hands on his waist and shook his head, "This is the worst idea I have ever heard. No one will read it. No one wants to read it."

Aaron held up a finger. "Not the point."

"And the point is…?" Leo asks dryly.

"I've never claimed to be a good writer. I don't expect anyone to actually read this, but if I'm going to procrastinate properly, I need something superfluous to spend my time on. And after Nickelodeon put out a FOR REALZ crossover cannon TV movie of you guys meeting the other versions of you guys, I feel that that gives the entire fanbase license to run amuck with terrible fic ideas."

Leo didn't like the look of the smug expression on her face as she explained what…. Didn't even really answer his question.

"But-" he tried to protest.

"Now, I'm going to need you to round up my bachelors" Aaron interrupted, "and get Mikey to start cooking 10 meatballs and 10 loooooong strands of spaghetti."

"Aaron-" Leo tried again but the girl spun on her heel and took a deep breath before bellowing loudly into the silence of the lair.

**_"MIIIIIIIIKEY!"_**

Leo covered his ear holes, the sound was loud as shell and the pitch hurt a bit at such close range.

Aaron noticed his wincing expression and at least gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry, college theatre classes have taught me the opposite of being a ninja. I'm now trained to scream over noisy crowds or to huge bandstands of people for hours… _theoretically_."

Leo just shook his head, rubbing his earholes and walking back off to the dojo. Nothing good could come of his being mixed up in this. He however did turn his head to call back one last warning over his shoulder.

"You know, if they haven't already, a fic where you date all the cannon characters is bound to get you labeled as a Mary Sue once and for all."

Aaron grinned, lifting her shoulders up to her ears in a shrug, calling back, "_So Sue me_!"


	2. Casey Jones

"So…." Casey drummed his fingers against the small table that had been set up in the corner of the lair, the red and white checkered table cloth over it deadened the sound.

"So?" Aaron echoed, leaning back in her chair, arms folded, eyeing him expectantly. A large plate of spaghetti and one meatball sat between them.

Casey scratched an itch on his nose with his thumb, eyebrows furrowing a bit, "Why'd I have ta go first?"

Aaron shrugged, "You make a good guinea pig. What can I say?"

Casey didn't look like he understood anymore than he did before asking the question so she added, "You're already spoken for so it made sense to get you out of the way first."

Casey raised his eyebrows and nodded in such a way it was debatable whether he had caught on or was merely faking it, reaching for his fork.

"There's only one meatball," he remarked, frowning all over again, eye flicking up to Aaron. "You're not gonna eat that are yeh?" already jabbing at it with his fork.

Aaron didn't look amused, shaking her head.

"No. Go for it. Knock yourself out."

Casey did. Spearing the meatball and biting off as much of it as his mouth would fit around it and chewing.

"So… how do ya win this thing anyways?"

Aaron stared fixedly at his mouth, watching the meatball become ground up mush with every word he spoke around it, pausing a moment before realizing it was a question directed at her and shaking herself free of the disgusting visual she'd just witnessed.

"Win what?"

"This." Casey twirled his fork around in the air to indicate the table and spaghetti before plunging the leftover part of the meatball into his mouth. "S'a competition a' some kind, ain't it?"

Aaron tried very hard to keep eye contact but there was something pulling her eyes to watch the disturbing mash only a few inches down.

"Uhh…" She'd blanked again, shaking her head and blinking once he'd swallowed, "No. No, not really."

"Tha's stupid." Casey attacked the spaghetti strand next, finding quickly that there was no end to the strand, he re-strategized by scooping a large portion into his mouth and using his teeth to sever the noodle apart. "Wha' the poin' if no one wins?"

Aaron stared at him again, unresponsive, so he looked down and around for what could be amiss.

He tried gesturing at the plate with his fork, taking a moment to swallow, "Did you want some?"

Aaron's nose wrinkled up at the gesture, sitting farther back from the plate.

"Nooo," she shook her head quickly, "I uh- I've got 9 more of these things, I'll eat later."

Casey threw up his arms before pointing at her with the fork. Aaron lurched away from the prongs coming her way.

"Exactly!" He exclaimed, "You're making ten of us do this- this-…I dunno- but it oughta at leas' be a contest er somethin'."

He plunged his fork into the spaghetti mound to round up another bite, doing a fair share of slurping to get it in.

"Fine." Aaron grimaced, checking her watch. Each date was to consist of an hour. She still had 55 minutes left of this one. It was going to be a long day. "If you want it to be a competition, it can be a competition."

She looked up and began to wonder how he'd managed to smear spaghetti sauce onto his cheek while she wasn't looking.

"How does April put up with this night after night?" She muttered low…

"Eh?" Casey looked up from the food.

Aaron blinked.

"Uhhm… I said 'I'm gonna hit the little girl's room if that's alright?'"

Cassey shrugged and went back to his meal.

Aaron stood quickly to get out of the red sauce splash zone, heading off to the lair's restroom to find out exactly how long one could powder one's nose.


End file.
